Post by cammy on Apr 2, 2009 11:07:31 GMT 1
BRITISH ARMY VOICE MAIL MESSAGE'
BRITISH ARMY VOICE MAIL MESSAGE 'Thank you for calling the British
Army. I'm sorry but all our units are out at the moment, or are
otherwise engaged. Please leave a message with your country, name
of organization, the region, the specific crisis and a number where
we can call you. As soon as we have sorted out the Balkans, Iraq,
Northern Ireland, the Millennium Bug, marching up and down bits
of tarmac in London and compulsory Equal Opportunities training, we
will return your call 'Please speak after the tone or, if you
require more options ,please listen to the following numbers:'
'If your crisis is small, and close to the sea press 1 for the
Royal Marines'. 'If your crisis is distant, with a tropical climate and
good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low level bombing
runs, please press 'Hash' for the Royal Air Force. Please note
that this service is not available after1630hrs or at weekends '.'If
your inquiry concerns a situation with can be resolved by a bit
of grey funnel, bunting, flags and a really good marching band,
please write well in advance to The First Sea Lord, The Admiralty,
Whitehall, London'. 'If you are in real, hot trouble, please press
3 and your call will be routed to Sandline International'. 'If
you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at,
paid little, have premature arthritis, put your wife and family
in a condemned hut miles from civilization, and are prepared to
work your butt off daily, risking your life, in all weather and
terrains, both day and night, whilst watching the Treasury eroding
your original terms and conditions of service, then please stay
on the line. Your call will be shortly connected to a bitter, passed
over recruiting sergeant in a dinghy shop down by the railway station'. 'Have
a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the British
Army'
BRITISH ARMY VOICE MAIL MESSAGE 'Thank you for calling the British
Army. I'm sorry but all our units are out at the moment, or are
otherwise engaged. Please leave a message with your country, name
of organization, the region, the specific crisis and a number where
we can call you. As soon as we have sorted out the Balkans, Iraq,
Northern Ireland, the Millennium Bug, marching up and down bits
of tarmac in London and compulsory Equal Opportunities training, we
will return your call 'Please speak after the tone or, if you
require more options ,please listen to the following numbers:'
'If your crisis is small, and close to the sea press 1 for the
Royal Marines'. 'If your crisis is distant, with a tropical climate and
good hotels, and can be solved by one or two low level bombing
runs, please press 'Hash' for the Royal Air Force. Please note
that this service is not available after1630hrs or at weekends '.'If
your inquiry concerns a situation with can be resolved by a bit
of grey funnel, bunting, flags and a really good marching band,
please write well in advance to The First Sea Lord, The Admiralty,
Whitehall, London'. 'If you are in real, hot trouble, please press
3 and your call will be routed to Sandline International'. 'If
you are interested in joining the Army and wish to be shouted at,
paid little, have premature arthritis, put your wife and family
in a condemned hut miles from civilization, and are prepared to
work your butt off daily, risking your life, in all weather and
terrains, both day and night, whilst watching the Treasury eroding
your original terms and conditions of service, then please stay
on the line. Your call will be shortly connected to a bitter, passed
over recruiting sergeant in a dinghy shop down by the railway station'. 'Have
a pleasant day, and thank you again for trying to contact the British
Army'